


Unsure

by aroberts8708



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:58:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroberts8708/pseuds/aroberts8708
Summary: This is my very first post so please be kind to me!Reader grew up in the life and joined the Winchesters after her father was killed. She is unsure of her feelings for Dean or unsure if she is ready to feel anything at all.





	1. Chapter 1

I sat in the passenger seat as baby roared down the road. Adorably curled up in the back seat, Sam slept as Dean drove on. The sky was black, but the night was lit by the light of the full moon just beyond the bend in the road. “Aren’t you sleepy yet?” I asked as my fingers drummed along to the low volume of the classic rock song playing on the radio. Dean smiled and looked at me “Not yet.” He replied staring back at the road. Baby’s headlights illuminating the road as each yellow stripe flew by. We had just finished a case, a simple salt and burn which meant little effort for any of us. As we rounded the bend, we could see lights in the distance. “I think we are going to have to stop for the night.” Dean announced suddenly taking me by surprise. Sam stirred in the back but settled after a few seconds. “I thought you weren’t tired?” I asked with a smirk. “I’m not but if we don’t get Sammy a bed to stretch out in we will have a grumpy over grown baby and I really don’t want to listen to him bitch all the way home.” Dean said laughing. I laughed a little but stopped once I saw Sam sitting up in the back seat glaring at both Dean and I. “Morning princess, have a nice nap?” Dean asked sarcastically as he stared back at Sam in the rear-view mirror. “Shut it Dean!” “God my neck hurts.” Sam complained. “See, its already starting.” Dean laughed and then rolled his eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh then looking down to avoid Sam’s piercing hazel eyes. We pulled into the parking lot of a motel. I must admit, it was nicer than most of the places we have stayed but it wasn’t exactly The Hilton. The sign out front said free cable and that was all Dean needed. I sat in the car as the boys went in to pay for our room. The poor girl behind the counter didn’t stand a chance with both boys throwing on their charm. I could see her blush from where we were parked. I couldn’t blame her really, both Sam and Dean were very good-looking men. Sam was charming in a rather innocent way and Dean had bad boy written all over him. He wasn’t bad though. Tough as nails, yes! Bad, no. They both have been through so much in their lifetime and being a hunter isn’t an easy job. I’ve only been a hunter for a brief time, but I’ve had more broken bones and close calls doing this than I have in my entire life. Opening the passenger door, I stretched my legs out and felt the all to familiar ache of riding in a car for days on end. The sound of footsteps approaching ended my thoughts, Sam held up the key to our room and I smiled. “You two should be ashamed of yourselves, I saw that poor girl blush and practically swoon over you two while you were both in there.” I smiled and arched my eyebrow. “Hey, be glad sweetheart. Her swooning got us a room for free.” Dean replied seeming ever so proud of himself. “Dean, you shouldn’t be so smug.” Sam said as a smile dared to cross his face. Dean tossed my bag to me and his smile grew even bigger as he looked at Sam. “What, you know you appreciate the discount.” Dean replied. Sam unlocked the door to our room and flipped on the light switch as he entered. The room looked rustic with brown leather headboards and wooden furniture. A nice plush leather sofa caught my eye and I sat down. Dean closed the door and bolted it shut making sure to turn the knob to ensure it was locked. It always amused me how protective Dean was. I knew it was mostly for Sam’s sake because he barley knew me but at least I knew I was safe. I haven’t been with the Winchester brothers for very long. We met on a case a year ago. A pack of werewolves had me surrounded. Their leader had killed my father while I watched and then kept me hostage for three days. This group wasn’t like others that I had hunted previously, they toyed with people before killing them. Almost sadistic if you wanted to classify it. Sam had read reports of the killings and, so he and Dean took the case. I was and still am extremely grateful they came. I didn’t want to stay with them in the beginning. Not that I didn’t appreciate the offer, I just didn’t want to be a bother to them. Sam insisted and so as time wore on, we became a team of three with an occasional angel lending assistance. Dean grabbed the shower first and Sam just passed out on his bed as soon as his head hit the pillow. I opened my bag and grabbed my night clothes, just a simple pair of shorts and a comfortable t-shirt. The door to the bathroom startled me as Dean came into the room. He was wearing only a towel around his waist and you could still see little droplets of water on his chest. My eyes were glued to him. I felt my face becoming warmer as he smiled at me. “You okay sweetheart?” He asked with a small smile on his face. His voice shook me from my trance and I ran to the bathroom. Shutting the door quickly, I turned to brace myself against it. “What was that about?” “Why did I do that?” my mind was racing. The chilly water felt nice as I splashed my face. My breathing started to come back to normal and my face returned to my regular pale complexion. I change quickly and exited the bathroom. Looking at Sam, I knew that asking him for a pillow was out of the question so that meant I would have to talk to Dean. He was propped up on his bed with his back up against the headboard. Clothed in shorts and a shirt, he still looked amazing. “um, Dean.” I managed to say while trying very hard not to look at him. “yes?” he replied, I could hear the smile on his face. “May I have a pillow please?” I asked still not looking at him. Silence filled the room. I stared at my feet for what seemed like forever until I noticed another set of feet just opposite of mine. I looked up to see the greenest eyes I have ever seen. Strong arms wrapped around me and I felt the overwhelming urge to sink to the floor. My legs shook but I managed to stay standing. “You don’t have to be nervous around me. I promise I don’t bite.” he whispered into my ear. The hair along my arms stood straight up and I took in a sharp breath. Gathering what strength I had left, I asked for a pillow again. My voice sounded incredibly small, I closed my eyes this time. Dean let go of me and stood in front of me. “Open your eyes.” My eyes shot open and I stared into the sea of green that were Deans eyes. “Dean, please?” I pleaded my voice still small. His hand cradled my face as he leaned in and kissed me ever so softly. I returned his kiss and wrapped my arms around him. In that moment, there was nothing but us there. I felt like my feet weren’t on the ground. “How could this be happening to me?’ I thought to myself but didn’t reply. I was lost in his kiss. Lost in the electricity flowing between us and that very moment. “Are you okay?” He asked me once he broke away. “Are you?” I replied my eyes searching for any hint of regret.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning has come. What will happen now?

Sunlight spilled into the room from the window as Dean drew back the drapes. “Rise and shine princess!” He exclaimed as he turned to smile at me. My eyes hurt from the sudden intrusion and all I could do was pout. “Dean, did you really have to do that?” Sam asked rolling over on his bed. “Come on Sammy, we are losing daylight and I want to get home tonight.” Grunting, Sam sat up and threw a pillow at Dean. Like a cat, Dean moved just in time for the pillow to hit the wall behind him. He looked at me and winked and I could feel my face growing hot once again. Sam stood and walked to the bathroom leaving Dean and I alone. Seeing his opportunity, Dean came and sat on the couch that I am currently still laying on trapping my legs under him. “So, about last night, did you like our kiss?” Warm couldn’t even begin to describe how my face now felt. I had to think fast, I couldn’t just answer this question out right. Moving quickly, I turned on my side dumping Dean into the floor with a loud thump. Sam must have heard the commotion because he came running out of the bathroom hands ready to punch anything that might jump at him. Laughing, I stood up from my position on the couch and darted towards the bathroom slamming the door once inside. Placing my back to the door, I sank to a sitting position on the floor. “What is going on with me?” “Why does he get this reaction from me anytime he even looks at me?” My head was swimming. So many thoughts and emotions, I began to become dizzy. I tried to stand but quickly realized that was a rather poor choice. Slowly, I sat back down and closed my eyes. A knock on the door sent me crashing back to reality. “Hey, are you okay in there?” Sam’s voice boomed from behind me. His voice a welcomed noise. “Yeah Sam I’m fine, be out in just a second.” I replied as I rubbed my hands over my eyes. I stood and moved toward the sink. The icy water running from the faucet felt nice on my face. I could feel my heart slowing down and my breathing returning to normal. “I have got to get a grip on myself!” I thought as I glared at the reflection in the mirror. These feelings are so foreign, but I can’t help but like them. The towel beside the sink felt soft on my face as I dried what was left of the water. I opened the door to the main room to only find Sam sitting on his bed. “Where’s Dean?” I asked while retrieving my clothes from my bag. “Left to go get gas and food.” He replied. “So, what’s going on with you?” The question stopped me dead in my tracks. Turning towards him I blinked and started fidgeting with my clothes. “What do you mean Sam?” I asked suddenly aware that this conversation was going to happen no matter how hard I tried to stop it. “I mean you hiding your face and dumping Dean in the floor.” I could hear the smile in his voice, but I just couldn’t look at him because I knew once I did he would know exactly what I was trying my damnedest to hide. “It’s not what you think.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “Oh, it isn’t?” The sound of his voice coming closer. Warmth enveloped me as he wrapped his arms around me. “It’s okay, you can talk to me. You know that.” He whispered as he squeezed. “Honestly Sam, I don’t know. I can’t keep my mind from racing when he’s around.” Sam let go of me and bent down to look into my eyes. “You have feelings for him and I think he reciprocates.” His hand lifted my chin so that I was peering up at him now. “You should really talk to him about this. Get everything out in the open so that you will stop hiding.” “Sam, I wish it was that easy, but I can’t just open up to him like that. I wouldn’t know how honestly. I’ve never really had feelings like this before for someone. I feel so strange and in a way, I like it but then it scares the hell out of me.” Realizing what had just happened I exhaled and continued. “He makes me feel alive and beautiful. That’s something I never saw myself being.” Tears began to run down my face as I looked into Sam’s now worried gaze. “You are very beautiful inside and out. I’m not just saying that to be nice either, it’s how I truly feel.” Sam’s voice was soft and reassuring. “Thank you, Sam. That makes me feel really good.” I smiled and gave him a hug. I never realized how soft Sam really is. He’s a lethal hunter but a soft soul wrapped in handsome. Grabbing my clothes, I stood and walked into the bathroom to change. The familiar sound of Baby’s engine signaled that Dean was back. I wasn’t sure if I could face him just yet, so I took my time. “You better get out here before Sammy eats everything!” Dean yelled from the other room. Food suddenly sounded amazing to me, so I finished dressing and opened the door. Dean smiled and tossed me a breakfast burrito. “Thank you.” I said once I caught it and sat down on the couch to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don't be totally angry with me y'all! Also I'm sorry this chapter is rather short!

Chapter 3  
The drive home was uneventful. I let Sam take the front seat, so I could relax in the back. Plugging in my earbuds into my phone, I started up my Spotify playlist and stared out the window as we sped down the highway. Periscope by Papa Roach began to play, and I started to think. I couldn’t possibly fall for a guy like Dean. I wasn’t like most of the girls we went for, I was plain. Sure, I was a hunter and new about his job, so he didn’t have to hide that part from me, but I honestly couldn’t see why he had a sudden interest in me. This was going to go one of two ways, I would either grow a backbone and talk to him about everything or I would continue to hide until he lost interest. Either way I couldn’t see myself not being miserable. I could feel eyes staring at me but didn’t want to look up because I knew who it was. Instead, I decided to close my eyes and pretend to sleep. We finally made it to the bunker around dark and I was very thankful. Opening the door, I grabbed my bag and sprinted to my room, anxious to grab a shower before the boys could claim the bathroom first. The warm water felt amazing on my aching muscles. I didn’t notice how incredibly sore I was until the water hit me. The bunker was cold, and I shivered once I stepped out of the shower. Quickly, I dried myself off and dressed in my night clothes. A nice pair of red flannel pants with a grey long sleeved shirt, good thing I chose to wear this instead of the normal shorts and shirt. Instead of letting my hair air dry, I decided to blow it dry. Once finished, I opened the door to exit but immediately bumped into something, or rather someone. “Crap, I’m sorry I didn’t see you.” Stepping aside, I walked around Dean as he stood still with a small smile on his face. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asked before starting to laugh. “The Library.” I answered as I kept walking. Hard footsteps followed me as I rounded the corner into the kitchen. “This is the kitchen.” Dean said sarcastically. “I know Dean, can I not get a glass of water?” starting to get annoyed at this point, I grabbed a glass from the shelf and filled it with chilly water. As I entered the library, I sat my glass on the large wooden table in the middle of the room and started toward one of the many book lined shelves. “The Wizard of Oz” jumped out at me so I grabbed it and turned back towards the table to find Dean sitting there looked up at me. Now I was angry. I walked up to the table and dropped the book making a loud thud. “What is your problem Winchester? You have been following me around and its starting to really annoy me. I don’t know what game you think you are playing with me, but it ends now. Sure, it was cute at first but now I’m just angry.” Fuming, I plopped down in the chair across from him. “Finally, she speaks in full sentences to me!” Dean said triumphantly. “I have been trying to simply talk to you for days now and all I ever get out of you are one-word answers or the view of the back of your head as you walk away from me. I was beginning to think I had done something wrong.” I didn’t know what to say. I honestly didn’t think I would get this far but my anger got the best of me and I was regretting my outburst immensely now! Taking a deep breath in I said “Dean, I don’t know what you want me to say. If you are wanting to know about that kiss the other night, yes, I enjoyed it, but I feel like it was a mistake. What are you getting at exactly? I am nowhere near as beautiful as the girls you usually flirt with. I am a plain Jane. I don’t quite understand what it is you’re doing.” There, I said it. I finally opened and said what I was so terrified to say. “You are beautiful. No, you aren’t like the other girls but that’s what I find attractive about you. Those other girls can’t hold a candle to you. I haven’t met anyone who can shoot a gun almost better than me or knock Sam on his ass almost as good as I can.” He leaned across the table and placed his hand on top of mine. I looked up then and saw that he wasn’t just looking at me, he was looking into my eyes with such sincerity that I knew he wasn’t just telling me all this just to flirt with me. He was being completely honest and at that moment all I could do was try to keep the tears from forming in my eyes. “Dean, this is all new to me. I’ve always just focused on hunting, relationships aren’t a thing for me. With our jobs, it’s hard to imagine being in a relationship with anyone. It does make things a little easier since we both do the same thing, but it also makes us very vulnerable.” I swallowed hard trying to gather the courage to continue. “I do have feelings for you, but it terrifies me because I can’t be the reason you get hurt.” My eyes started to sting as the tears started falling down my face. In one swift motion, Dean was beside me holding me. My head against his chest and his arms wrapped ever so tight around me. “It wouldn’t matter if we were in a relationship or not sweetheart, I will always protect you just as I protect my brother. You are important to me and I’ll be damned if I let anything happen to you.” Placing his chin on top of my head, he held me close until my tears stopped. “I care about you too Dean, I’ll always do my best to protect you too.” I said as I considered his eyes. His look deepened as he leaned in and kissed me. Soft at first but it grew deeper and more passionate as he placed me up on the table. I could feel my heart start to race and the hair on my arms raise as he moved from my lips to my neck. We both jumped as Sam entered the room “Oh, Um, Sorry” Sam quickly walked back the way he came. Dean looked at me and I started laughing uncontrollably. Dean followed suit and we both walked to his room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has bad news

Chapter 4  
Warmth, all I could feel was warmth. I opened my eyes to a room that wasn’t mine. For a second I panicked but then Dean tightened his arms around me and I remembered the events of the night before. “Poor Sam.” I thought to myself and then giggled a little at how his face turned a brilliant shade of red as he quickly walked out of the room. “Oh No, are things going to be weird around him now?” Very gingerly, I lifted Deans arm from my waist and slipped from under the covers. Carefully, I opened the door so to not wake Dean. The halls were quiet except for the sound of my feet as a padded toward the kitchen. As usual, Sam was already awake and drinking a cup of coffee. “Hey Sam, did you sleep well?” “Did you?” Sam replied with a smile on his face. “Yeah, about that. Sorry about last night. It just sort of happened.” “No need to be sorry, I’m just glad you both finally sat down and talked everything out.” I smiled then. Never in a million years did I think I would ever have that talk with anyone, but it happened. “Sam, I don’t want things to be weird now.” I said looking down at my feet. “Things are always weird around us. Just keep your escapades to private quarters.” I laughed and looked up and a now laughing Sam. It was then I realized that I had found not only a best friend but a brother. Sam was always easy to talk to. A sudden rush of wind threw me off guard and I spun around to kick whatever just landed behind me. I regretted my actions instantly as my foot contacted Castile’s side. “Son of a bitch!” I yelled as my body slammed to the ground. My foot felt like it had just shattered into a million pieces. “You shouldn’t kick angels, you will hurt yourself.” Castiel said as he looked down at me. “I know Cas, I didn’t realize it was you until it was to late.” Dean came running into the kitchen “What the hell happened?” “She kicked me.” Cas announced as Dean came to a halt right in front of me. “You kicked an angel? Why would you kick an angel? That wasn’t a good idea.” Dean said all at once. “I think she realizes that Dean.” Sam replied as he came to kneel beside me on the floor. Sam grabbed my foot to check for broken bones. “Is she okay Sam?” “Yeah I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have any broken bones.” “Help me get her up.” Sam grabbed one arm as Dean grabbed the other and lifted me off the floor. “Can you walk on it?” “Let me try.” Slowly, I put some weight of my foot and tried to stand. Pain shot up my leg instantly and I grabbed ahold of Dean once more. “Nope! That’s not going to happen for a little while.” Pulling a chair out from the kitchen table, Dean sat me down. “Cas what are you doing here anyway?” Dean turned toward Castiel who was still standing in the same spot as before. “There has been talk in Heaven of Demons looking for a weapon.” “a weapon? What is this weapon supposed to do?” Dean asked. “It is said that this weapon is supposed to cause every angel in Heaven and on Earth to die once it has been found.” “Where are we supposed to find it Cas?” I asked, pain still in my voice. “The angels are scouring every corner of the earth to find it. Once we find it we will need to bring it here. This is the only place it will be safe.” Castiel walked closer to me and place two fingers on my head. White light blinded me, and I couldn’t breathe. I was terrified but could feel every ache in my body fading away. When I could finally see, Castiel was gone. “What the hell are we supposed to do now? If the Demons find this weapon before the angels do, we are all screwed.” “I guess all we can do is wait.” Sam said as bent kneeled down to check my foot once more. “I’m pretty sure your foot is okay now. Cas healed you.” I slowly stood. Sam was right, I was fine.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y'all but this is a short chapter

Chapter 5  
We hadn’t heard anything from Castiel in a few days and we were all starting to go a little stir crazy waiting inside the bunker. It was very quiet in the library this morning. Sam must have been on a run because I know I hadn’t started my day before he did. I’ll never understand why he insists on running so much. I only run if I’m being chased and don’t have anything to defend myself with. Engrossed in my book, I didn’t hear Dean enter the room. I was reading The Scarlet Letter and was just to the part where the towns people sentenced Hester Prynn to wear the A upon her chest when I felt someone standing behind me. “Dean, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.” I said with a smile as I swung out of my chair and wrapped my arms around him. “Who said I was sneaking?” He replied as he leaned in and gave me a kiss. I backed up and sat on the table, Dean followed. Our lips still touching, he cradled my face in his hands. Our kiss deepened becoming more passionate. My hands under his shirt feeling his muscles tense under my touch. He slowly moved down to my neck and I gave a soft moan. He began to toy with the hem on my shirt just barley touching any exposed skin. I wrapped my legs around his waist to draw him even closer. “You’re so warm.” Dean said as he lifted my shirt exposing me to the frigid air. “Dean.” Was all I could manage to say before he started to trace kisses all along my collar bone and down my chest. He removed his shirt then and I couldn’t help but stare at the man before me. He smiled and returned to kissing me. I could feel myself begin to melt with his touch and I knew I was done for. The table felt cold as he laid me down on top of it. Dean began to trace kisses further down along my stomach to just above the brim of my pants. He looked up then as if to ask permission and then removed my pants and panties. I was completely exposed then and I felt somewhat vulnerable but excited at the same time. He stood and removed his own pants and boxers then. “Fuck.” Is all I could think as I took in the impressive view. He kissed my lips once more and then made passionate love to me. We laid on the table for a little while and then decided to get dressed again before Sam returned. Dean had just walked off to the kitchen when the door to the bunker opened and Sam entered. He was still trying to catch his breath as he came down the steps into the main room. “Have a nice run?” I asked from behind my book. “It wasn’t bad. What have you been up to?” Sam asked sitting in the chair just opposite of me. “Oh, nothing much. Just reading.” I replied still hiding behind my book. Dean came in with a cup of coffee in his hand. “Hey Sammy. Nice run?” Sam looked at Dean who was smiling then. “Yeah. Dean, what’s wrong with you?” Sam asked with a confused expression on his face. “Nothing Sammy. Everything is good.” Dean replied giving me a wink. Sam then looked from Dean and then to me then back at Dean. “I don’t want to know, I’m going to take a shower.” He said as he stood and walked to the bathroom. Dean and I both laughed then.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> once again, this is my very first post. Thank you!

Darkness swirled all around me as I screamed out. Unable to move, my voice was my only hope. “Dean! Sam! Help!” A small explosion echoed through the blackness just off to my right. Is this how I am going to die? Alone and cold. I wanted to cry but it wouldn’t help my situation. Hard Footsteps came running up to my left side. I looked into that direction only to see what I could only assume was a demon. What was he running from? What was coming? Out of the shadows, Castiel marched toward my paralyzed body. A war had broken out among Heaven and Hell, both sides hunting for the weapon Castiel warned us about. He called Dean just hours ago with a location just south of the bunker. Like the good solders we were, we piled into Baby and took off. We came to an old farm house with a big barn just behind it. We started searching the house when we heard the fighting begin outside. Demons had found our location and managed to arrive just shortly after us. We held up inside the house waiting for a couple of them to come inside. Angels arrived not long after we spotted the demons and the fight was on. Trying to sneak out of the back door towards the barn, I was spotted by a couple of demons. One rushed me from the front and I dropped him with gun. “Good thing I loaded this with demon killing bullets!” I thought to myself. The second demon took me by surprise and managed to hit me on the head with a silver wrench. Reality came crashing back to me once Castiel reached me and tried to fix whatever had been done to me. White light blinded me once again and I could finally move. Jumping up, I took off in a sprint towards the barn. Dean was fighting two demons at once and Sam was helping some of the angels fight off several others. “Find the weapon.” Castiel shouted toward me and I started searching around the barn. Hay and farm equipment lay strewn all over the ground. It was hard to maneuver through everything. I could see a stall just ahead of me with a small stone tucked in the corner. I quickly made my way to the stone and picked it up. It felt hot to the touch and vibrated with immense power. Suddenly, the warmth from the stone shot up my arm and into my chest. I could feel the power rushing through my veins. I turned to see where everyone was only to be struck with a shovel across the face. I hit the ground with a hard thud but quickly rolled to my side and put my back to the wall. Putting my hands up to guard my face, I let out a small scream and the next thing I knew every demon in the barn and outside were gone. “Dean!” I screamed, and I could hear hurried footsteps coming towards me. Sam reached me first and dropped to his knees to help hold me up. Dean and Castiel weren’t far behind Sam. “Dean, I feel so cold and I can’t stop shaking.” “What happened?” “Cas can you heal her?” Dean asked as he came to sit just behind me. “You touched it didn’t you? The power from the weapon transferred to you when you touched it. What is happening to you is to great for my powers to control. I’m sorry Dean but no I can’t help her.” “No! You must! There has to be something you can do!” Dean shouted “Dean, it’s okay. I’m going to be okay. I helped us win.” My voice growing small, I reached up and touched his face. “This is good.” “No! You can’t just leave me like this. I can’t lose you!” Dean replied with a small tear rolling down his face. My vision began to blur, and I grew colder. I never thought about what death would be like and honestly, I never really wanted to. Dean’s face was the last thing I saw as I slowly drifted away.


End file.
